Five Signs You’ve Found An Evolved Man, And Why You Should Be Scared Shitless


The Evolved Man by

Authors Note: Before y’all get your panties in a bundle, allow me to explain my perspective on this article since it’s gone viral on the internet. I originally wrote it as a sarcastic parody piece to poke at all those overrated “5 signs” blogs and pretentious “evolved man” articles. Written with a slice of raw truth and humor, when it comes down to it this is intended to honor the men out there that ARE doing “the work” and for everyone to remember that we ALL are continual works in progress. Step off your Goddess pedestals, ladies, and one day your ONE will meet you face to face and join you on a journey of a lifetime!

For eight years I’ve been calling in a life partner…

Why did it take me so long? Because I was searching for the elusive “evolved man” – a mythical creature that exists in the dreamy minds of Goddess-type women who preach atop sparkly pedestals claiming they are not “being met” by the men they are currently dating.

I desired a partner who is remarkable, like me. And I would not settle for less until I found “him”… a man who is dedicated to a path of personal evolution, has a high vision of the life he wishes to live, and lives into it every day.

Yeah right, like I am perfect and evolved!

But I AM capable and willing to do “the work” to be a better human, so I figured my mate should be the same way.

What the heck is an “evolved man”, anyways? 

1. A man who has conquered his own emotional, spiritual and personal growth work and takes responsibility for his life.

2. A man who is true to his word, takes action and lives with integrity.

3. A man who loves himself so much that he cares for his body, his health, his finances, his home and keeps all aspects of his life in tip top shape.

4. A man who has mastered the fine skills of energetic lovemaking, meditation, yoga, ecstatic dance and can give me orgasms with one glance of his eyes.

5. A man who has “done the work” to be a better person and has his diplomas from The Good Men Project, Landmark, Tony Robbins, and Deepak Chopra on the wall to prove it.

Well guess what, ladies. Once you find a man like this, you better be scared shitless. Here’s why:

The Evolved Man by www.ScarletAmor.com1. No matter how many Ester-Hicks affirmations you have posted on your bathroom mirror, in the presence of a remarkable evolved man ALL your emotional, spiritual and personal baggage will climb out from the dark corners of your mind. There is no space in this relationship for you to fall back on old stories of how you were once done wrong by an “un-evolved man” in the past. Be prepared for your personal shit to be stirred and smeared on your holy mirror and accept that only YOU are responsible for how you will respond to your “triggers”. He will hold you accountable and will not settle for your emotional, self-righteous rants.

2. It’s easy to make a list of all the ways YOU think you are impeccable with your word, but an evolved man will hold a mirror to your soul and reveal all your blind spots. If he says he will pick you up at 8pm, he will show up on time – while you are still in the bathroom sticking just a few more sparkle bindis on your forehead, which means YOU are late. You complain that your car needs an oil change and post on Facebook that you are “manifesting a mechanic who will trade for crystals”, while he is already under the hood getting it done. You have a dusty vision board on your wall with photos of dreams you wish to achieve, while he is busy making shit happen. Time to step it up!

The Evolved Man by www.ScarletAmor.com3. Sure, I generally eat healthy (with a daily side of wine and cheese) and somehow get my rent paid at the end of each month, but am I really living up to my fullest potential? I desired a man who is stable and wealthy, in tip top shape, cooks gourmet farmers market organic meals every night and lives in my future dream home that I would eventually move into and make our own… while I was frankly broke, flabby, living in a ghetto apartment and eating In-n-Out Burgers on Wednesday nights in front of the TV. When you meet your dream man, prepare to start scrambling to clean up your life!

4. My previous boyfriend didn’t know a lick of yoga, thought chakras were bullshit, and spent his days stalking hippies on the internet to prove their motivational message memes were wrong. This left me doing my Tantra yoga poses and prayer circles on my own, and we eventually broke up because he wasn’t “spiritual enough”. Then enters Mr. Evolved Man who gets up at the crack of dawn every single fucking morning to meditate, hits Bikram three times a week, and can run circles around you doing handstands while you are still sipping on your Starbucks after your once a month ecstatic dance class. Wiping the dust out of your eyes, you begrudgingly buy that unlimited monthly pass card for the yoga studio down the street so you can keep up with him.

5. You boast that you were a keynote speaker at Lightning in a Bottle last year at the Yoga Dome. You don’t need any more self-help diplomas, YOU are the expert now! In the meantime HE is a student of life, always learning, always growing, always seeking new inspiration and perspective from his mentors because he knows that NOT KNOWING is a place of power. He accepts that he is a work in progress and loves you just the way you are… then signs you up for a year of Landmark education that kicks your spiritual ass to the ground.

The Evolved Man by

Yes, you may think you have the upper hand as a Goddess-type woman who is already “evolved”, because a lot of “dudes” out there still don’t get it. But until you accept that you have tons to learn from someone else and that their life accomplishments are amazingly different than your own, you will never be met.

There is no such thing as an “evolved man”!

Look instead for someone who is in the process of “evolv-ING” – and when you find him take his hand that is reaching for yours, step off your damn pedestal and climb up the steep road of life together as partners who can support one another along the way.

And if you are not scared shitless, you are doing it wrong.

With love,

P.S. A huge piece that helped me find an “evolved man” was healing my heart after my last break up. Read more about my journey here!

P.P.S. Attn single ladies… If you are ready to meet your match, but are still hung up on your Goddess Pedestal, sign up for a complimentary MAGIC SESSION with Scarlet:

*This article was also published in these eZines:

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*Over 47,000 views in one week!

The Good Men Project

*Oh snap! Over 16K Shares on Facebook!

My Tiny Secrets

*Swoon, I’ve always wanted to write for Adina Rivers!


*Printed in the August 2015 Issue

  • love it girlfriend :)

  • Amrita Grace

    Rockin’ it with your words and vulnerability, as usual! Well said, Scarlet. LOVE!

  • Jennifer Quest

    How true! Having found and having the honor to share love with an evolved man myself, the experience has brought so much of me to light. I am grateful for the powerful reflection that challenges me, honors me, and causes me to seek ever deeper inside. I love the way you laid it out there! Boom! And congrats on your beautiful love story unfolding!

  • Jake Schuster

    Excellent, excellent article. I’m glad I read till the end, cause it was winding me up! haha :)

    I wish you’d expand a bit on your finishing points–I think it’s incredibly important that women know that probably the ‘best’ man, the most honest and candid one, is unafraid of her knowing about his flaw, his works-in-progress, and that sharing her own fearlessly is perhaps the best way for two people to grow together.

    It seems today that the people who can best posture an air of being ‘evolved’ while hiding their flaws land the golden eggs. That’s just my observation though.

    Women should know that there are few things more endearing than a women leaving her comfort zone to share/expose her works-in-progress with a man.

  • David Martin

    This is a wonderful post and captures a journey that I’m currently sharing with an amazing, complex woman. To see my perspective on the nature of being on the “man” side of this conversation, check out and to see Colleen’s view of her journey, check out

  • Vincent Zetta

    complete bullshit

  • Vincent Zetta


  • Jesani Drew

    Omg, you just spoke my life with this article and you dramatically changed it in an instant. That’s incredible. This is exactly what I needed to hear, I think I can call in my husband now. It’s time to meet him.

  • Ronald73

    Be a decent human being. Seek a decent human being.

    • Ime Prezime

      I agree.

  • Mark Brown

    this is a powerful and informed article. Thanks for sharing.

  • Kent Carlomagno

    Bravo: this is why most woman choose looser type men because it makes them feel so superior-they couldn’t handle “an evolved male’ akin to our Greatest Generation because there is no projection to fix and the blame or work falls on them!

  • Thoroughly enjoyed your article, as usual Scarlet! You always bring me a smile. Your “evolved man” is fortunate to evolving with you. Such a pleasure!!

  • Latrinas Traitor

    I absolutely love this article. It certainly resonates with me right now.

  • Sebastyne

    I was so going to argue with every point you’re making after reading the headline because this is exactly what I would have told you if you hadn’t already. 😀 Didn’t expect this! Women do not understand what a truly powerful man is like, whatever adjective you use of him. One should never expect more of a partner than what they are willing to put in themselves, and quite frankly, to be prepared to top, because a love affair should be a competition of who is giving more, while counting none of the receivings – until it becomes obvious, without counting, there is an imbalance in there.

    And still, I’d be prepared to give that guy a few lessons in authentic spirituality and convince him to lay the fuck off the morning yoga! 😀

    • Lol, thanks for making it to the end of the article. And morning yoga is a god send for my man, it keeps him grounded and balanced and totally turns me on! To each their own. xox

  • Lucy Rowett

    Ooohhhh thank you Scarlet! My stomach relaxed and my shoulders dropped in relief. So long I have been wanting ‘an evolved man’, and realising what you put so perfectly here: He would be too perfect for me and I am nowhere near being ‘an evolved woman’. Holy shit. I can now drop (some) of my impossibly high standards and embrace fully human men.

  • Michael

    I love this article to the end of the earth and back. <3 I strive to be this evolved-man in ever facet.

  • Teuvo

    Um wow are you? I’m a long time student of Bikram, Landmark graduate, and built my own house…. I felt like you were writing this about me.

  • Alex

    Great read, very thought provoking. Sorry to be the internet stickler, but in the future try to find a different word than “ghetto” to describe your apartment. I think you were trying to say modest or even “crappy”. Ghetto has too many racial and socio economic implications that a lot of people do not appreciate. But thank you for the good read and great ideas.