Singles, OK Cupid Profiles, And The Case Of Decoding Online Dating Jargon

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Online Dating Jargon with Scarlet AmorOnline dating.

If you’ve ever logged in to Ok Cupid or Match.com, you’ve probably had to weed through dozens of boring profiles full of B.S. phrases that never get to the point.

Here is your DECODER RING to help you understand what these people REALLY mean:

“trying this website out” = I just got dumped

“down to earth” = I’m a super boring dweeb

“just looking for some fun” = I’m a slut and won’t call you the morning after

“living life to the fullest” = my life revolves around reality TV shows

“no messaging and texting forever, lets get on with it” = I will message and text you forever without ever asking you out on a real date

“no drama queens” = I’m a drama king and will push you towards insanity until you freak out and then I’ll blame it all on you

“I live a simple life” = I live with my mother and am unemployed

“I don’t watch much TV but I love (lists ten TV shows)” = I watch a lot of crappy TV

“artist/musician/writer” = broke

“Our Lord Savior Jesus Christ” = run!

“easy going” = boring, pushover, dweeb

“social drinker” = drinks daily, gets shit faced on the weekends

“short term dating” = I’m here for hooking up

“open for whatever” = I don’t know what I want out of life

“separated” = my ex has me by the balls

Can you relate?

Share your own internet dating jargon definitions in the comments below!

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  • Tantric Debra

    Hilarious and so true! It also seems like them saying “I’m not a psychopath” seems to equal being a psychopath or stalker. “Must like a sarcastic humor” means I make dumb jokes.

    • There are some good people online, but you have to weed through the BS to find them then discover for yourself how they really are in person.

  • “Seeking a long term relationship” = I’ll be patient and wait until the second date to attempt to jump your bones and then not call you ever again because I am afraid of commitment. (true story)