“I’m a relationship expert on being single, heartbroken and always seeking true love!” ~ Scarlet Amor
Funny thing is, a decade ago I had this vision/goal that I would be a best selling co-author on “transformational soulmate relationships” and would be traveling the world sharing this message with my future partner to help other couples create the “conscious relationships” of their dreams. I envisioned our photo on the cover, our spot on Oprah, the sold out workshops we’d lead, and our beautiful ocean view home we’d share with our family and friends from the fruits of our labor of love, soul purpose and inspiration.
That dream had turned into a nightmare… well, more so, it just got sidetracked. Ten years later, after a handful of short-term soulmate relationships and a boatload of heartbreak…. I’m still single. LOL @ myself!
It is crucial to respect a woman’s boundaries in the bedroom.
It doesn’t matter if she is your wife of 20 years, or you are on a flirtatious first date…. NO means NO. Even if it was a YES a moment ago.
So there you are in the bedroom. You two are plowing forward, clothes scattered on the floor, wet kisses on every body crevice…. then out of the blue she tenses up and says, “Wait, stop, slow down!”
WTF? Your boner received the command: “Full Steam Ahead!”, but suddenly there are alarms ringing a warning bell that there is a dangerous iceberg ahead… and you didn’t hear it.
“Soulmate” Relationships, Disappointment, And What To Do When Your Partner Is Not Dedicated To Personal Growth
Are you still dreaming of the PERFECT “Soulmate” relationship that is focused on spiritual growth as PARTNERS?
I’ve been reflecting quite a bit on this dreamy idealist vision I have of being in a transformational partnership with a Beloved/mate where we are both dedicated to our personal growth… with the relationship being a cauldron for that intention.
You know, one of those “conscious relationships” where personal transformation is the #1 purpose of being together, soulmate style, and the romance and companionship are secondary. A relationship with a higher purpose, per say.
It’s a tall order to expect someone to fit into that idealistic box we conceive in our minds.
Dear Sensual Providers: Sometimes your life passion and career as an Erotic Healing Artist may have an expiration date.
When what was once your spiritual mission, your passion path, your dream job come true… one day starts feeling like a burden, it may be time to reassess your career.
50 Shades. It has become a household name to horny wives reaching for sexual liberation. (Bite my lip!)
But how about BDSM plus FBSM?
Allow me clue you in on a professional sensual massage technique that is starting to blow up like wildfire. Have you heard of it?
It is a combination of light kink, erotic bodywork, sensory play, bondage, and a whole lotta healing goin’ on.
What are YOUR “Deal Breakers” in relationships?
You know, that black list of bad habits and unfortunate personality traits are zero tolerance in your book. Verbal abuse? Name your drug addiction? Ex porn star? Bad breath?
I know I have my “I will NEVER be in a relationship with you once I get one whiff of this behavior” list. Don’t me started, once I get going my mind can run on and on about what I DON’T want in a relationship. I was hurt in the past and vowed I would never deal with that bullshit from anyone ever again!
But is this zero tolerance attitude healthy for those of us on the path of personal growth and spiritual transformation?
Recently I’ve had second thoughts on my “Deal Breakers”…..
There are many connotations to the word “DAKINI.”
Most people can’t pronounce it. Other’s give me the raised eyebrow when the word is uttered in public. Certain adepts get it and give me a high five.
Wikipedia says a Dakini is a “Tantric deity described as a female embodiment of enlightened energy.”
In modern times, it is a code word for a spiritualized sex worker.
Why do I choose to claim this title in the name of YUM?
I’m not just following the spiritual hipster lingo branding myself as a modern neo-Tantric professional provider (although I am). For me it’s in the roots, beyond outdated scriptures and dogmatic his-torical fables.
Facebook crushes. Surely we have all done it at some point in our modern social networking lives: Develop a fanciful infatuation based on someone’s Facebook profile. Secretly stalk their page at the wee hours of the night and create marriage vows in our head based on a touched up photo or alluring status update they posted. A virtual romance sourced on a hopeful fantasy that this person might actually, finally, be “The One.”
Is it healthy? On one hand our crush can serve as a muse to inspire us to be a better person, just as a real budding relationship encourages us to step up our game. Hopeful romance as a path of personal evolution! But the other side of this elusive game can lead us into an unintentional black hole of illusion, false projections and utter disappointment. Be careful!