BDSM, Tantra and Sexual Healing – An Erotic Short Story

10

"I Feel In Love Once He Cuffed Me"“Get down on your knees,” he says.

His eyes were commanding yet full of fire and adoration. It wasn’t a request. He was so grounded and assured of his power that I could only blush in response.

Hesitating for a moment I wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed silly, a command that normally would be reprimanding, yet the way he said it I somehow felt honored.

I knew that once I knelt in the spot he was pointing at on the hard wood floor facing the wall I would no longer have a say in how our night was going to proceed.

It was our third date, if you can believe it. We met on an online dating site, the only man I chose to respond to because it just felt “right”. Upon our first meeting we spoke casually about sexuality over an expensive brunch, me mentioning my work as a Tantrica for the past six years, he mentioning his interest in BDSM. At the time I gave him my rant that I have no interest in the dark arts or to play fake bedroom games pretending to be beaten by my lover. It was a turn off to me, although I admitted that I have yet to fully dive into that world so my judgements are jaded. On our second date we had our first kiss and he mentioned it again. I didn’t take it seriously.

Yet somewhere in the back of my mind I was intrigued. I give all the time as a Dakini. I hold impeccable space and adamant boundaries. I serve with only their pleasure in mind. And I get to call the shots. When my clients are on the table I am in complete control. Subtle domination I guess, yet without bondage.

I am a Dominatrix of Divine Love.

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But deep down inside I crave a lover who I can trust to top me, so I can surrender, so I can receive. A man like that is hard to come by.

Here we are two weeks later after our first date and he is punishing me for standing him up last night. Rightfully so. We made plans to spend the weekend together, drive up to his house on Friday evening to “hang out” and “get to know each other” before an all day adventure he had sketched out for us on Saturday. But a work call came in, it had been slow all week and I desperately needed the money so I made a fateful choice to postpone our date until the morning. I needed to rake in $300 to pay my overdue bills. And I felt like we were moving too fast. I didn’t think it would phase him much. I was wrong.

With a nervous smile I submitted to him and took the position.

“My time is valuable,” his voice boomed behind me. “I felt disrespected that you cancelled two hours before we were to meet. You are lucky that I am forgiving.” I heard the sound of chains rattling and the soft thud on leather on the couch. Before I could open my mouth to respond he bent down to my ear and said, “Take off your dress.”

I had planned ahead for this moment, wearing some sexy lace black panties and a matching bra. I thought he was kidding around on the phone about giving me a spanking but I prepared nonetheless. I figured he’d just put me over his knee. Once I made it over to his house that afternoon he was calm and casual and didn’t mention anything about it until now.

I was tingling with excitement as I pulled my black cotton dress off over my head and laid it on the floor next to me. I felt humbled as he walked around the apartment in his heavy leather boots making it loud and clear who is the boss in this situation. This wasn’t a game. He had every right to punish me. I know had done him wrong and this was my way of making it up to him.

“Put your hands on the wall and bend over.”

I did as he said. Somehow my ass craved his steady hand, longing for his touch. But instead he kept me waiting as I heard more metal and heavy items shuffling around behind me. The anticipation was torturous, my muscles tensing up as his boots circled around and then stood silent about a foot from my shaking tail. I could feel him sizing me up. My pussy started convulsing.

Breathe, Scarlet. Remember your practice. Just breathe.

There was so much energy in the room it was tangible. I kept waiting for that sweet sting on my bum that I desperately deserved but he just stood there. I wanted to resist. I wanted to turn around and hug his knees and beg for forgiveness. Everything was shifting inside of me.

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The built up resentments in my mind about all the men who have fucked me over, stood me up, canceled our dates at the last minute, left me hanging without an apology…it simply left with my breath. The old story I was hanging onto didn’t make any sense anymore. I had no excuse to do what I did last night. I was a douchebag for not honoring this man’s time.

The layers peeled off, one by one, like pages of a heavy book I’ve carried around all my life regarding “the men that let me down.” When I broke our date last night I had felt self-righteous. Now I am feeling the agony of waiting for retribution. It is as if the loving force of his hand will clear all the anger and resentments from the past in one clear stoke. And now I have to wait for it.

I didn’t feel ashamed. I felt empowered.

He waited until my last sigh was so heavy that I nearly collapsed. All the energy that has been stuck in my gut faded. I felt empty yet full of longing. Twenty years of therapy is nothing compared to this moment. The power was back in my hands, sweaty against the bare wall.

“Thats a good girl,” he says. Without mentioning anything of my process it was as if he felt my release. Sticking my ass back up in the air I took another breath in, my chin held high, and presented myself to him. But still he made me wait. There was another layer coming to the surface, one I thought I had let go of years ago.

Flashes of my childhood abuser came into my mind, of how he’d make me take this position with belt in hand after he forced me to strip down naked in front of him. Although I was only twelve years old he was my Dom. Punishment by him was belligerent, heavy handed, tinged with verbal abuse and inappropriate kinky innuendoes. He raped me of my power. I never considered that we had a BDSM relationship until this moment. No wonder I was always closed off to this world.

The realization made me laugh. Another key to my healing unlocked. I get it now. Fucking A, I am finally free.

That was when my date smacked me across the ass with so much love it made me squeal with joy. It resonated across my flesh and made my pussy tremble. The burning sensation on my skin was exquisite.

“Thank you,” was all I could say.

BDSM and TantraHe grabbed me by my chin. “Thank you, WHAT?!” He had complete control over me. This man could strangle me if he wanted to, but the force of his hand that now slipped down to my throat felt comforting and safe.

Regardless, I didn’t want to say it. He clenched my neck tighter and smacked me on the ass again. My pussy was dripping at this point but I couldn’t move. There was a frog stuck in my throat, years of not being able to tell my secrets without getting in trouble welled up inside of me. I knew that once I spoke his name that old spell would be broken forever.

“Thank you….sir.”

I felt uncomfortable saying it. I had reached my edge. I felt like a little girl and started to contract. Without a moments hesitation he released my throat, bent over and kissed me so tenderly on my cheek that I nearly cried. His love for me was astounding, as was his sharp intuition that I started losing my power of surrender. Turning my face towards him I finally was able to look him in the eye. All I could see was love, tenderness, respect and complete confidence. His gentle kiss sealed the deal.

“Stand up and put your hands behind your back.”

As he slipped the leather cuffs onto my wrists I knew that I had finally found my man.

xox ~

www.scarletamor.com

P.S. Did you dig this story? Then you’ll love my new book about my adventures dating a sugar daddy! Read more here: www.SugarDaddyFail.com

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  • This can’t be true! This is amazing! Wow!

    I’m in love. Thank you for sharing this–and sharing it so well!

  • Wow, powerful, erotic and yummy at the same time!…can’t WAIT for your novel!

  • beautifully conveyed…brava!

  • Tufluv

    I congratulate you. Your experience sounds powerful, sexy, and intriguing. I would like to point out however, that your past experience with your abuser was indeed abuse and did NOT constitute a BDSM relationship. Kink might take on the surface appearance of non-consent, but truly it’s a mutual dance between two consenting grown ups and the conscious ‘yes’ is a key aspect that separates abuse from power exchange. You were truly helpless as a child.

    The conscious ‘yes’ allows a submissive to become a conduit/beacon/crucible transforming their Dom’s energy by mixing it with their own and then flowing it back out into the universe. This creates a process of alchemy whereas simple sad abuse is visited upon a victim and becomes soul killing in the end.

  • osmosis

    Wonderfully put. I felt with you through reading it. I appreciated the distinct emotions and relationships being conveyed.

  • Moon

    You have truly touched me with this profound and deep transformation with your man. One of my main attractions to this lifestyle although I have not engaged was the healing potential is offers is one is open to the journey! Congrats on your new found power and healing.

    You gave me inspiration.

    Moon

  • Cslim

    I love this! You are a good writer. I have recently found my love who has made me realize that I have never truly been in love before. He also happens to be the only man who has ever offerd me what I have always wanted, to explore my submissive self. I trust him completely. I have been researching, submission and bondage, and some things that he has mentioned and that we have done. I’m so glad I found this, I was really moved by this passage. Thank you!

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  • commonsenselessworld

    Guess this is what happens when people get raped while they are young. They end up being food for the rapist again and now they give catchy words to it to make themselves acceptable.

    • Wow, that is a pretty strong projection. A BDSM experience is about 100% consent, which empowers the bottom to completely surrender through the experience. Rape is 100% NON-consent with forceful violence. There is a HUGE difference.